Chapter 23

The going was easy on the first day of their journey into the mountains and it was a pleasant ride. Merlin's Shadow, David, and Aledwen melted into the rocks and forests and travelled on foot, silently and invisibly. Raphael would walk with them until his feet got sore, and then fly ahead and wait at a vantage point. Rhiannon had thought that perhaps it would look strange or unnatural to see the angel fly but it didn't at all. He would run at it, down hill if he could, kick off and fly. As simple as that. It was amazing, and yet he made it seem the most natural thing in the world. It didn't look awkward at all. Otherwise it was just herself, Rowan, and Yuka on horse back. Yuka rode a small palomino but even she would get down every few hours, take off her silk riding clothes, shift into the form of a small fleet fox, and dash off into the woods. She would return and dress herself, always leaving her feet bare, and remount. Rhiannon knew that if it weren't for her, they would all be going on foot but as it was, sitting and riding gave her a good opportunity to ask the dozens of questions that were always swimming around in her head. She picked their brains. Yuka, being just as amenable to questions, answered many and, being from across the Western Sea, as they called the Pacific ocean, she often had a less biased perspective on the situation. Rhiannon had asked why she thought that the taboo lingered like it did and Yuka's answer surprised her.

“There were never any Angels on the islands I come from, and any distinction between the Human and Fay populations has long since faded away. It happened there even before the time of the Plague Wars and so, there was never anything to fuss over. No taboo. But when the ships that visited from the mainland brought traders who had been to the west, they told stories of the plague and of stonings and other barbaric attacks on the Fay at the hands of the Humans. The Humans were dying though, and the Fay were not only untouched by the plague, but they were unable to heal it and that, in and of itself, would be enough to create animosity.”

“That and the elves and their fear forms and lies,” Rowan said bitterly.

Rhiannon looked at him sharply. “In the other world the stories about the Fay are often very ambivalent or downright nasty and while the Fay themselves don't always mean to cause trouble, the stories don't always end well for the Humans. Are you saying that there are stories like that here? I mean, so far I haven't met a Fairy that I've found truly frightening, but in the other world, some of the stories tell of Sylvan girls killing men in the woods and of the Leanansidhe drinking human blood. No one here mentions Anthropophagi or the Lorelei or Boggarts.”

“Anthropophagi?” Yuka repeated questioningly.

“Headless cannibal Fairy thingy,” Rhiannon explained as briefly as she could.

Yuka wrinkled her dainty nose in distaste. “There were no elves to tell tales back home.”

“What do the elves say? What lies?” Rhiannon asked.

“They started as the humans were leaving the old country. First the stories. Gwydion told me about them. Stories much like what you mentioned. Tales that made the Humans think twice before wandering the woods alone. Lies that made them believe that the Fay had turned. There was one story that they spread that told of how, while the plague killed humans, it had brought insanity to the Fay. There were also stories of creatures that killed or drank blood and what with the plague closing in and the pressure to flee, many believed the stories. Then came the fear forms.”

“What do you mean by 'Fear Forms'?” Rhiannon asked.

“The elves can't use them on us, but any human without a drop of Fay blood is susceptible to them. I'm not sure exactly what they see, but when the elves get into someone's head badly enough they sometimes drive them permanently insane. They have dreams about being eaten alive, monsters, drownings . . .” Rowan was silent for a moment. “I've seen it happen. I've never told any one before but when I choose men for covert missions, I often choose the ones that I suspect have fay blood, even if they don't know it themselves.”

“But surely the Humans know now that the stories aren't true, and that the elves are the ones responsible for the nightmares? I mean, the Fay have hospitals at the edges of their strongholds where anyone can go and all of the Humans know this. Do they really think that a Fairy midwife would really turn and drink a Human's blood after helping birth their children?” Rhiannon asked in indignation.

“No, they don't believe all that, but there is a lingering mistrust that is stronger in some families than in others. A belief that the Fay will always be dishonest or use trickery in their dealings, and people like Seamus make it worse. He perpetuates the lie, and while the majority of the population see him as a possible dictator, there are those who follow him because of those old erroneous fears. That and a lust for conflict,” Rowan tacked on.

They rode on in silence until Rhiannon found another question bursting to get out. She turned to Yuka. “Why did you come here?” she asked, doubly curious now that she knew Yuka came from a part of the world that was quite stable.

Yuka smiled and laughed, “Chronic and inescapable wanderlust. It doesn't matter where I am I always want to go somewhere else, although I've been here for quite some time now. I think it's because things stay interesting here.”

“Where else have you travelled?”

“Further west of my home. There are cultural differences but life is homogeneously Fay there as well. It was very beautiful, warm and exotic. I stayed for a while.” She smiled again showing her pronounced canines, then slipped down from her horse and began stripping, bundling her clothes into a saddle bag as she walked along beside the horse. Then she was gone and a red fox was scampering off into the woods.

Rhiannon looked to Rowan. It was just the two of them now. They hadn't caught up to Raphael yet. She watched him for a minute or two as he rode ahead of her. He was graceful astride a horse. He sat easily, confidently, so used to being on horseback that the fact that he was didn't even seem to register. She looked at the horse. He was big glossy and black. Jet black, a black that almost ate the light. There wasn't even a speck of any other colour.

“So, does that horse have a name?” she called forward to him.

He looked back and smiled, “Snicker Doodle.”

“Snicker Doodle?” Rhiannon repeated back lamely.

The trail widened again allowing them to ride side by side once more.

“Yeah. Like the spicy little biscuits,” he said still smiling.

“I know what they are. Strangely enough they exist in the other world too. But why on earth would you name a war horse Snicker Doodle?”

Rowan's smile deepened. She could see that he was enjoying himself. “When he was a colt he was a funny thing. All gangly, awkward and sweet natured, but he had some spirit too. Like a snicker doodle. Sweet, but just a little spicy. I had a time of it breaking and training him, but now we're good friends. Although,” Rowan said with a note of caution in his voice. “I sometimes wonder if he hasn't got a little Kelpie in him or if maybe he's really a Phooka and he doesn't know it yet and one day he's going to realize, run wild on me and dump me in a bramble or a mire.”

Rhiannon laughed.

*

Once they had caught up to Raphael they stopped for lunch. Yuka rejoined them. She didn't shift back to human shape immediately but rather lounged around in fox form while crunching down a squirrel carcass. Rhiannon tried not to watch as she ate her own bread and cheese. They continued on after they had eaten. Yuka and Raphael stayed with them. As they'd ridden Rhiannon had been paying attention to the forest. Trying to read it, to sense it and all that was in it. She wasn't sure if the things that she was picking up on were accurate, but she liked the feeling of being open to the forest around them. It was a feeling that she had always tried to shut out when she was younger and now it was one of the joys of her present, so she ran with it and left herself open like a satellite receiver. She looked into the forest. Let her gaze snake deep between the massive trunks and got perhaps a little lost there, then she found something that didn't belong. Something malignant, dark in a bad way. Sometimes darkness is beautiful. The quiet darkness of a safe warm room inviting you to sleep in a lover's arms is wonderful. This darkness was the opposite. This was a 'cold and alone forever' darkness. A cruel darkness. Rhiannon recoiled. “Something's wrong. That way,” she pointed into the trees.

The others were alert immediately.

“Elves,” Rowan said.

Yuka didn't stop to put her clothes in her saddle bag but shifted halfway between the saddle and the forest floor then dashed off into the forest. Raphael stooped and bundled the clothing into a saddle bag.

“Hide her,” Raphael addressed Rowan. “It's our safest bet. Opening a doorway to the other world here might not be a good idea especially if the elves figure out where we've gone. It's too public on the other side. People could get hurt.” Rhiannon was a little surprised at the authority in Raphael's voice, but what he said was true. She was afraid to open a door to the other world right now, knowing that a slip up using that much power could cause a miscarriage or that she could seriously hurt or kill herself, so Raphael would have to do it for her, and an angel and a fairy princess would draw a fair amount of attention appearing suddenly on very popular hiking trails. Add to that the fact that some of the elves could follow them through. She was just as safe here.

“Done,” Rowan said instantly. “You can find us if we're hidden?”

Raphael nodded, drew his bow and strung it.

Rowan dismounted as David materialized at his elbow. “They are headed this way. Yuka and your grandfather are tailing them and will make sure that we hear them coming. Aledwen and Bonnie are ready. I will take the horses.”

Rhiannon dismounted and David started walking away with the four horses. “Come love.” Rowan took her hand and began leading her away from the path.

Rhiannon's heart thudded in her chest as they hurried through the forest. If she were alone she would be so dead. She would be helpless to do anything but hide, and alone she would be found. Found, and then what? Probably not actually dead. There were things that were worse than dead. This was what ran through her mind as she ran beside Rowan nimbly jumping logs and branches as he pulled her along looking for a place that he found suitable. He stopped short. “In here. Quick,” he said bundling her into a hollow next to a big rock under some tree roots. There was a shadowy pit at the back that she scrunched into. Small has its uses after all. She thought as she pulled the hood of her cloak up and drew the green wool around her.

“Do you know how to make yourself invisible?” he asked so calmly, looking at her reassuringly from where he crouched just outside the hollow.

Rhiannon shook her head, gulped and stared at him with big eyes.

“It doesn't take a lot of power. Just a little. Can you use your magic or are you too frightened?”

Rhiannon did some more brainless staring.

Rowan looked in the direction that the elves were approaching from, then turned back to her, “Look, it's going to be fine. This isn't the same as the day by the grove, but it'll be even more fine if you're completely hidden. Take my hand, do whatever it is that you do to find the magic.”

The touch of his hand and the strange opposite feeling of his very male way of accessing power were catalytic. Holding on to what was important she accessed just a little magic of her own. “Okay now what?” she whispered.

“Close your eyes.”

She closed her eyes and a feeling stole over her that was like being wrapped in a blanket.

“Do you feel that?”

Rhiannon nodded.

“You need to answer me verbally. I can't see you,” he said gently.

Rhiannon opened her eyes and realized that she was invisible and so was Rowan but she could still feel his hand. “Yes I feel it.”

“Okay. I'm going to let go of your hand. Hold on to the feeling.”

He let go and she kept the feeling of the blanket around her.

Rowan reappeared briefly and said to her, “Stay hidden and absolutely silent. I won't leave you. You won't see me but I'll be close.” Then he blinked out of sight.

Rhiannon concentrated on staying still and breathing slowly and quietly. She had to concentrate to remain invisible, so she focused on that too as she stared out the gap between the rocks and the roots. It didn't take her long to realize that she was wound tight like a spring watching out the gap waiting, and that was bad. She was afraid of using her magic incorrectly. She didn't want to lose her baby. The thought made her eyes water up so she closed them. It was a little better but she could feel the blankety feeling slipping. She took a deep breath and tried for the feeling she'd had when she'd been in the forest with her Grandmother and sister then brought the feeling of the warm blanket back. Warm and safe. It's funny how those two things seem to go together, she thought, curling up more tightly and burrowing more deeply into her hollow. The idea of people out there waiting to face danger on her account made her falter again, but she pulled herself together and imagined that the tree roots in which she hid were keeping her safe and restricted her mind to what Rowan had told her to do. Stay hidden. Eyes closed she rested her head on the side of the hollow and thought the word Hidden. She tasted it. Rolled it around in her mind. Distantly she heard a fox yipping and soon after that a bowstring release. It had a dream quality to it. As if she were separated from it. She heard arrows bury themselves in trees and more bowstrings releasing. She burrowed deeper. She heard arrows find live targets. Time lost definition. Swords met swords. There were shouts. Oh, keep them safe. Keep them safe. She breathed inwardly and soon it was silent. The silence stretched then contracted. She couldn't move. Stay hidden.

*

“Is that the last of them?” Rowan. He sounded distant. Muffled.

“I counted nineteen.” Yuka.

“Raphael?” This was Rowan again.

“Yup. Nineteen. We got them all.”

“Hey . . .” It was Rowan. He spoke softly into the hollow, “Rhiannon . . .? Are you there?” Concern seeping in.

He reached his hand into the hollow and Rhiannon who was still scrunched up with her eyes closed thinking hidden gave a short startled shriek when his hand bumped her leg and jolted out of her near trance. She sat blinking.

Rowan chuckled. “I can barely see you back there even when you're not invisible. You can come out. It's safe.” He extended his hand.

Rhiannon unfolded herself and took Rowan's hand, ducking some roots as she emerged from the hollow still blinking. The others were standing around them. Merlin's Shadow still had his bow in his hands, and Bonnie and Aledwen could be seen a short way off gathering arrows. Raphael was cleaning his sword on the moss, and Yuka was standing there naked, in human form looking slightly nauseous.

“They're . . . gone?” Rhiannon asked quietly.

“Well . . . dead. But yes,” Raphael answered her.

“How?” she whispered.

“We put a barrier around us, around you, and picked most of them off from a distance before they could pinpoint our location. By the time they came close enough to fight with swords there were only five of them left,” Rowan said.

“Do you know what they were doing? Were they tracking us, or was it an accidental run in?”

“We don't know,” Raphael admitted dissatisfied, sheathing his sword then checking his bow quickly before slinging it across his back.

Yuka, who was looking greener and greener suddenly said, “Excuse me,” and shifted back into fox form. It wasn't a transformation like Rhiannon would have expected. It was more like changing channels on a television. One moment Coronation Street, Telly Tubbies the next. Yuka. Fox. The Fox braced then retched and vomited. There was a white ghastly thumb and forefinger in the stomach fluids along with half digested bits of squirrel. Rhiannon couldn't keep her lunch down after that sight and turned and retched as well.

*

She spent the fifteen minutes or so that it took to track down David and the horses telling Rowan repeatedly, “I'm fine. You don't need to carry me. You've seen how many cabbages I can lift. I'm not a wimp.”

“I don't care,” he'd respond. “You're not heavy. Just suck it up and let me fuss okay.”

“But I'm fine, I just got woozy seeing the fingers,” she'd say

And then he'd say, “Close your eyes there's another body on the left.”

And she would somewhat sheepishly, but quite gratefully, bury her face in his neck until they were passed the corpses, because he was right, she didn't want to walk past the bodies.

*

They found David and rode till dusk was near. Raphael stopped them, “Just over the next rise there's a good place to make camp. It's sheltered and the ground is relatively flat.”

Rowan set up one small oiled canvas tent and stretched a tarp above it while Yuka and Rhiannon looked for fire wood with Raphael. Then Yuka proceeded to build the fire and start a pot of rice cooking. Rhiannon sat on a stump and watched as the Fox Fairy added seaweed and dried mushrooms to another pot. Yuka also produced some tofu from a bag which she fried with some cabbage in something that almost tasted like teriyaki sauce. They ate as darkness fell and Rhiannon was glad to have a warm lump of sticky rice in her stomach as she drifted off in the tent. Rowan lay beside her and Yuka had changed back into a fox and curled up at their feet. She didn't think that she would sleep well, but she was out cold in a matter of seconds.

*

It was the musky animal smell that woke her. Rowan was gone but the fox was curled in a tight ball next to her. Rhiannon fought the urge to pet Yuka. Her ears looked so touchable. The sun was well up and Rhiannon could hear voices outside of the tent. She closed her eyes and tried to go back to sleep, if only for a few minutes, but the snippets of the conversation that Rowan and Raphael were having weren't making it easy. It was a vaguely embarrassing conversation about privacy. They obviously thought that she was still sleeping. Rhiannon thought over what she knew about Raphael and windows and wondered exactly what he'd said to Rowan to start this conversation. She knew Rowan wouldn't have started it.

“Well,” Raphael mumbled, “It's a hard habit to break. I don't feel right at night if I don't at least check on her.”

“Okay, fine. I'm not asking you to stop. I asked you to keep up your watch, I'm just saying that whatever you hear through our window . . . just pretend you didn't. Just don't listen.”

“Okay . . .” Raphael said but then couldn't seem to resist asking, “But you're sure that she's not that mad at me?”

“She said those things before she'd had any time to think. She wouldn't have said them if she'd thought you were listening. She's not angry. Not at you. Not anymore.” Rowan was exasperated.

Rhiannon scrambled out of the tent dislodging the sleeping fox in a desperate attempt to save Rowan.

“Good! You're up!” he smiled, looking relieved, and passed her a bowl of oatmeal.

They ate breakfast but Rhiannon felt like she was force feeding herself. She slipped away into the forest to relieve herself knowing that, even though she couldn't see them, Bonnie and Aledwen were there protecting her. She might never be truly alone ever again. It was a disconcerting thought.

*

Raphael estimated that they should reach the Angels’ city by noon and it should have been a pleasant ride. Rhiannon couldn't tell if it was nerves—she'd always had a nervous stomach—or if it was morning sickness that was making it such a miserable ride. Her stomach wasn't normally quite this nervous and Strawberry's rocking motion was making it worse. The food she hadn't enjoyed that morning was churning in her stomach and going nowhere. She pulled her feet out of the stirrups and slipped off of Strawberry's back, crouched and retched. Rowan was down and beside her so quickly that she didn't realize he was there.

“What is it?” he asked, all concern.

Rhiannon didn't answer right away as she crouched waiting to see if she was going to vomit again. She didn't need this and she didn't want to say it out loud but she knew what it was for sure now. “Morning sickness,” she muttered, still spitting.

Rowan winced. “We have really bad timing don't we.”

Rhiannon chuckled at the ridiculousness of it as she wiped her mouth with the wet cloth Rowan passed her. “No, we have good timing. It's the rest of the world that's off. If there was no war, and no psycho uncle to deal with, we would be at home and it would be a perfect time to be laid up with morning sickness.”

“Is that your way of telling me not to feel guilty?”

“It is. Let's get moving.”

Rowan pulled her up behind him on Snicker Doodle. The war horse had a smoother gait than Strawberry and it was easier to to deal with the nausea when she didn't have to hold herself up or think about the reins. She rode for a while with her arms around Rowan's waist and her cheek resting on his back, eyes closed, but before long Raphael landed in front of them and told them that they would have to leave the horses as it got a little tricky up ahead. David and Bonnie stayed behind with the horses and the rest of them continued on foot. They passed through a couple of narrow rocky passages, that the horses would not have been able to manage, before coming to a long stone staircase. Rhiannon found walking better than riding in terms of the nausea, but she had lost her breakfast and it had left her feeling lightheaded and as if her feet were made of lead. After a period of climbing stairs she had to stop. She sat, drank some water, ate some nuts and dried fruit, tried to stop her hands from shaking with fear at what they would find when they reached the city. Raphael was tight lipped on the subject but she got the impression that he was ashamed rather than worried. It didn't help. She was pretty sure that all the reassurances in the world wouldn't help now. She didn't know what she was going to say to the angels. She looked out over the bright autumn panorama below. Stop putting it off . Just go. Get it over with, she told herself as she got to her feet and, silently, they climbed the stone stairs into the mountains. The air was cold and the wind buffeted them. They had climbed for more than two hours before they reached the entrance to the city. A large outer courtyard, about the size of a schoolyard baseball field, opened up before them as they made it up the last few stairs. It seemed to be carved right out of the mountainside. At the far end was a gate, and in front of that gate was an angel.